We're going Home

It will be just over 4 years living in Jakarta when we go home in December to live a mere 45 minutes from where we spent 13 years previously (this was not by design but pure coincidence). Everyone is very excited and the kids are busy designing a "fort/jungle gym" that we will get built in the backyard (can't wait to have a back yard big enough for that)

I'm not sure I can pinpoint the best things about living here the last four years and this is not in order of what I have enjoyed the most:

1. Not having to fight about who does the washing/cleaning/cooking/mowing/pool cleaning (and having the response - that's my job - I'll do it!!!! - I will never get used to that)
2. Forming so many great friendships (you meet a lot of kindrid adventurers!)
3. The kids not needing to go to daycare or before/after school care!
4. The school embracing International Primary Curriculum (7 habits of highly affective people for kids) and seeing the enthusiasm it brings to learning.
5. Living in a beautiful complex with the best neighbours you could ever hope for (and being woken by birds in a city of 12 million people).
6. Being able to go on ANZA scavanger hunts with the kids (how to look really silly in public) which helped us see and experience new things in Jakarta.
7. Having trustworthy staff who have never stolen anything and you can trust with the kids (that works both ways - my kids are very manipulative).
8. Being 7 hours closer to Singapore, so closer to everywhere else in the world.
9. Being able to have 12 weeks a year spent on holidays with my kids.
10. Being able to work part time and still be able to save something.
11. Seeing my children grow into global citizens and know their way around international airports, train stations.
12. Being part of a friendly school community and always feeling at home.
13. Being able to go on 2 ski trips a year and watching the kids learn and grow to love skiing.
14. Participating in our very own "amazing race" every xmas for 3 weeks and teaching the kids how to travel without a travel agent or a private car/taxi etc (hoping this pays off when they are 18 and backpacking around the world in their gap year).
15. Being part of the PTA and helping to organise some pretty amazing events.
16. Watching my kids learn, embrace and thrive in their various sports (and compete successfully internationally).
17. Seeing enough of Asia to have my curiousity fulfilled (for a few years anyway).
18. Being able to see something "amazing and unique" (not always in a good way) on every drive regardless of how short or long (and being able to read my book in the car).
19. Being able to travel to remote areas with work and see a whole other side to Indonesia.
20. Finally being able to blow off the "Australian" attitude that the only place in the world is Australia (this is a bit harder as we wake up to Triple M from Melbourne (where J hasn't lived for 20 years).
21. Going to amazing parties, both children and adults.
22. Having your child in the most amazing school plays and school activities. I usually cry for the first 10 minutes just for the sheer joy that my child has the opportunity to be part of such an amazing thing.
23. Being part of two seasons a year football (soccer) tournaments as a coach - can't see that being a possibility in Australia (the playing 8 months a year part).
24. Being able to go out for dinner without the kids and know that the babysitter isn't costing more than the dinner (or wine in the case of Jakarta).
25. Factory outlet shopping - being able to buy goose down jackets for USD25 or Nike pants for USD6 - all 5 - 20 minutes from home.
26. Being able to all go to the cinema with popcorn for less than $30, or being able to go with some friends to the premiere lounge, have an armchair and rug, a couple of G&T, all for less than $15.

Things I won't miss so much:

1. The traffic during the month of Ramadan (I actually calculate % of trips for the period and cross them off - it is sometimes more than double the normal travel time (which is already quite large).
2. The polution from vehicles and factories plus the smell of smoke when rubbish is being burnt in the evenings (everything that can be recycled is, but there is remainder that needs to be destroyed - so fire it is (just like Australia until the 1980's).
3. The daily reminder that the gulf between poor and rich is so massive (100 million people in Indonesia survive on less than $2/day/family, but there are 20 families of billionaires in Indonesia (and they all have kids at our school) - don't know the statistics of millionaires, but it would be in the 1,000's). Being surrounded by incredible wealth in some places, but having a child with a baby beg for food at the traffic light 2km away - it does mess with your head.
4. The kids being pinched, poked, hair touched and giggled/laughed at when in public places (this is by the adults). It will be nice to just be normal kids/people again.
5. Having a small backyard and high fences.
6. Paying USD30 for a A$7 bottle of wine after producing a passport and making a special trip (Dan Murphy, here I come, I may just walk up and down the aisles for hours).
7. Paying USD70 for a A$10 bottle of wine in a resturant (yeah, it would be easier if I just didn't drink - right?).
8. Feeling like life is cheap - if a local doesn't have enough to pay for the hospital (upfront) then they are left to die in the car park/sent away - road death toll in Jakarta is >400/month.
9. The knowledge that I have a rare blood type for asia and the only way of getting a blood transfusion is with the blood bank ringing around the expats with the same blood type (I am on a register) - and hoping someone answers the call before I am dead (B- is not a blood type found in Asia). Stupid me only enquired about the kids blood type (AB+) and if it was easy to have transfused when I was researching moving here (they have the easiest you can get). I can be so dumb (it took me 3 years to discover this).
10. The lack of personal space when you are in a public area - this is due to the fact that there are so many people, same space - so the amount of personal space reduces - just simple maths, but I won't miss it - especially around escalators.
11. Going for a walk at lunchtime and coming back streaming with sweat - looking forward to winter, spring and autumn - will be a nice change.
12. Considering myself lucky that I have crossed the 8 lanes of traffic to get to starbucks and back at lunchtime with the knowledge that I have not been hit by a motorbike or bus travelling on the footpath (not joking - motorbikes, all the time - but you would be amazed how fast you can throw yourself against a fence when there is a bus rumbling along the footpath at 20km/hr towards you (and you've just innocently turned a blind corner on the footpath not expecting to be almost hit by a bus)). And pedestrian crossings are not controlled, so the only way to cross a road is to hope like hell you can avoid the traffic and that you don't get hit by a rogue vehicle travelling where you least expect it.
13. Unroadworthy buses that stop anywhere (middle of the roundabout, middle of the road, 3m up the road from the last place it stopped) - all owned by people who are making a lot of money and spending zero on maintenance for the last 25 years (ie. black smoke, rust filled - 28 buses are roadworthy out of 15,000 (from Jakarta expat last week)) - and yes, I have travelled in one (but it was for a 40th birthday party, fully decked out with a portable bar (aka esky) and containing armed security guards).
14. The poverty of so many people and the lack of equality in one of the most resource rich countries in the world.

That is all I can think of - coming here was the best thing we ever did. We really wanted an adventure and we absolutely got that. Every "summer" holiday that we went back to Australia, we would feel like we didn't belong and be itching to get back to Indonesia. Eveyone looked so busy and worn out by the daily dredge - did people really enjoy travelling only 100km to their holiday destination? Would they chose the life they were living if they had the opportunity to do something different? Normally on the way to the airport we would be saying goodbye to everything for another year - quite happy in the fact that we wouldn't be back for another 11 months. Everyone happy to be going home (to the point where they counted down the landing into Jakarta).

On this trip, for the first time, we weren't itching to get out. The blue skies, the fresh air and the job opportunity were invading our thought processes. For the first time since we left, we could actually see ourselves living there again. We visited our old friends who live just outside the town we used to live in - it was like we hadn't left. I must admit that when I drove into my old town, I almost had heart palpitations with blind panic that I was returning to live.

So no, we aren't going back to the same town or to the same life we left. We are going closer to the coast by 45 minutes, to a city 5 times the size. I will be working from home and J will be working 10 minutes to the west, kids will be at school 10 minutes to the east. Skies will be blue, air will be clean and the yard will be big and flat with lots of kids running about getting filthy (because I have heard 100 times from our last trip back to Aus, we are not city kids Mum - we need trees and lots of space to get dirty).

We are seriously looking at this house at the moment (sorry no photo of actual house)

Looking South

Looking North

Looking South East

It will be a nice change for 3 -5 years anyway - then we shall see where we can go then........

The Gold Coast Home

We are leaving the Gold Coast after lunch today after having it as our home base for the last 4 weeks. As J's parents live here it is a great place to have as a base between all our trips to Victoria, NSW, New Zealand and Brisbane. Of the last 4 weeks we have been in Aus, we have spent 15 nights away in four seperate "mini holidays". J was with us for the first 2 weeks when we did most of our mini holidays.

How my in laws put up with us I am not sure - but they don't want us to go (we aren't flying out until Monday morning, but are visiting friends the next two nights). They always show our kids a lot of love and are no stricter than we are, so it all goes pretty well thankfully.

We went to Dreamworld with friends last week and spent a glorious winters day riding on everything (Munch is tall enough for every ride and it was only 15 minutes from home), yesterday we went to the huge Centro Timezone and spent 2 hours on their "$60 for 4 people" deal - (am expecting a medal for Super Mum any day (as I hate the noise in those places). But the absolutely best thing we've done on the coast was on Thursday night when we went to the Outback Spectacular (10 minutes from home). Although we had been last year, they have changed the show so it is a different story.

It now follows the story of the light horsemen and the first world war. Little is heard about the 14% of the males in Australia (this includes all males from 0 - 100) who volunteered to fight in Europe in the first world war and significantly aided in winning the war. The show is aimed at entertainment, but I spent most of the time wiping the tears from my eyes as I have done a lot of research into WWI and WWII and the kids asked their standard 100 questions per hour.

You are given a "outback hat" when you enter and you are served a 3 course dinner (steak, vegies, mashed potato and pavlova for desert), with free flow wine and beer throughout the show. The stadium seats around 1,000 people. We took the grandparents last year, but they didn't want to drive at night so chose not to go this year.

There is one segment near the end of the show where they have 4 children (2 from each "cattle station") chase a pig each in a race for the best station. All 3 kids were pig chasers this year. Last year only the oldest two were asked, this year all 3 were(the oldest had to pretend to come from the other station). Considering it's only 4 kids from the whole audience, the odds on being picked twice are pretty remote. Unfortunately I can't show you a photo as you aren't allowed cameras inside.

I can't comment on value for money, because I used my reward points for the tickets. But the show IS spectacular and if you are ever looking for an Aussie experience, it is definitely worth seeing once - gauranteed entertainment for anyone aged from age 2 - 100.

NZ Skiing - Mt Hutt

We got back to Aus in mid July and after a birthday party in Victoria and a few days with the grandparents in QLD we headed off to New Zealand for a week. We chose the very uncommercial Methven to stay at this time around - a very small country town 1 hour from Christchurch and 1/2 from the ski field of Mt Hutt (sometimes known as Mt Shut, but not on our holiday - very lucky).

This was the view from the lounge room. We stayed in a really lovely apartment in a place called Brinkley Resort - it has room service and a five star resturant (which we didn't use) - but they also have a kitchen in each apartment, and because we got 3 bedrooms, we also had our own washer/dryer (otherwise the 2 bed apartment shares with the studio apartment). Really good value and really great facilities. Even putt putt, tennis and outdoor spas.

The mandatory family photo. The mountains behind are where the "Lord of the Rings" was filmed.

This is a black run - don't have a photo of the double black diamond run we did (only once), but we did this one a heap of times.

This is me looking like I know what I'm doing (isn't trick photography a great thing).

After a catastrophic jump (late in the day - must remember 7 year olds need hot chocolate at 2:30pm after skiing 5 hours (with a lunch break). Munch did a jump and landed badly - J is last and I'm first - so when we stopped with Bear and C girl right behind me, I could hear her screaming - We don't usually rush over to the kids when they fall down, they need to learn how to get themselves out of jam and get back on their skiis. But J had the skiis off and was calming her and just when she was about to get on the skiis, the patrol came and she happily had them stretcher her down. We went up on the lift to meet up with her, but missed her, so these two made love hearts to make her feel better (Daddy carried her inside to her hot chocolate in 'officer and gentlemen' fashion - she was fine).

Magnificent views on the drive down (hire a 4wd, the 2wd had to use chains every day, 4wd only 1 of the 5 days had to use chains)
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Another gorgeous shot.

A beautiful groomed run. Sat and Sun were hugely busy as they were clear sunshine with fresh snow from the day before - full of Christchurch locals - the lifts were busy, but the runs were still okay - not too busy. Only 3 lifts for the whole mountain, which is a bit different, but very organised and efficient.

C girl showing how much powder on the run.

Just finished lunch - ready for more skiing, we missed the Italian food for lunch. Lots of people brought their own lunch up.

From the top of the express 6 lift.

The express 6 hits the top of the mountain in about the middle of the photo. You then traverse along the top to get to this point - really fun traverse - lots of spots where you have to go flat out down to get up the other hill.

The carpark is at the bottom, the base is further under the mountain (you can't see it) - this was our favourite run (this is taken from same spot as the last photo).

Another camera - same spot, different day.

With the mountain mascots.

Just about to start the traverse across to the mountain behind Munch and Bear. Anywhere along the traverse you can drop down and go down the mountain.

This is one of the runs down from the traverse.

We loved Mt Hutt - there is only one green run - so it's not a learners mountain, the locals on the road are unbelievably friendly (2wd cars pull over and let the trail of 4wd pass every now and then, and with a friendly wave no less). Methven has 2 pubs (the brown and blue pubs) that are reasonable for food and there are a couple of take aways and two five star resturants if you prefer. It doesn't have the variety of resturants or shops that Queenstown has, nor does it have the bungy jumping or jet boat rides - they are one offs in my book (they cost a fortune) - Queenstown also has more green runs (learners) and 3 ski fields close by incase it's bad weather in one you have a backup - Methven just has Mt Hutt. There are other things to do there - we could have gone up in a hot air balloon - but because the skiing was so awesome we didn't bother even looking at anything else to do.

Kids want to do terrain park coaching next time, think I will get some lessons so that it isn't so obvious that the kids have surpassed me in skiing. Brilliant holiday - will go back to NZ instead of Aus every time now - 2 out of 2 for NZ, 0 from 1 for Aus - why would we even try Aus again when it costs the same?

Class - what is it?

I have crossed the one year mark from my Mum's death - and it took a lot more effort than I thought it was going to - but the kids and I remembered her both on her birthday and the day she died/was buried and I can see some of determined character in all 3 of my kids even more clearly now than ever before. She would be proud of them and I am thankful as it means they will move mountains to achieve their goals.

One thing my Mum never taught me about was class. I can pretty confidently say that it never came up in any conversation we ever had. "Always use manners, never give up something important, be beyond reproach in all your actions and always make sure you have financial independence". Those were the things instilled in me when growing up - class never came into it and I can't say it has ever been used in a conversation with my kids while they are growing up.

Happily living in oblivion.

But Class is something I keep reading or hearing about. One example of seeing it was with a rival school last month that we are constantly at loggerheads with - this is just because our girls teams are equally talented in football - nothing life threatening - but the t shirts all the parents wore say "pure class" as their logo - then their gorgeous and talented girls do a bunch of headbutting and illegal holds that their coach has taught them and you are left to ponder - what is class?

The second example was reading a blog I normally love (and the reason for my pondering), the writer notes how parents shouldn't bring children on holidays to expensive places and that letting children run free in expensive hotels shows that people with money, don't necessarily have class. I agree that this behaviour is not on and would not allow my kids to do what she was saying these kids were doing - and it is poor manners for the parents to allow it. But is it linked to class?

My third example is a personal one - two British friends were over for dinner one night. The southern one (who would be considered to have class as her upbringing was bahama holidays, private schools and nannies/drivers) stated that it was obvious from where she stood that J was a man of class and that I wasn't (we had drunk a lot by this stage). I asked her if she considered herself to have this class that she discussed - of course, she said - isn't it obvious. So I was left to ponder as I considered making this statement as being quite rude, whereas she saw it as a statement in the obvious - so really - what was the link between class and manners?

But the definition of class in my trusty Oxford is "rank or order of society, division according to to quality, group of persons or things having some characteristic in common - and finally - the one everyone must be grasping at - distinction, high quality" - so basically it is a vague reference to saying you have "high quality" but what is high quality? Is it manners or money?

What defines "high quality" (no - not in dictionary)? Can someone who smokes in a public place (yes - even outside) be considered to have manners or class? Isn't it bad manners to pollute the air other people breath (and in my case cause asthma) Is there a link between high quality and class? What do you think?

Now please - don't go thinking I am getting all insecure about having / not having class. I can state for the record that I have never pondered the question about myself before - you are who you are - that's it. I just try to have manners (not always succeeding).

But I would love to understand the definition and peoples love of using it - as I think it is very 18th century British and should be extinct (or is that the convict Aussie coming out in me).

Home again

After getting home from 10 days in Perth on Friday night - we had the map of Europe on the floor on Sunday night trying to work out where to fly into............ those itchy feet are just getting itchier.

We went for a swim meet. Asia vs Australia - we were with Asia - now that felt wrong. But you can't change teams when you get there.

Not all swim meet - this is what we did while C girl trained on Good Friday.

I was actually freezing - jacket zipped up to my chin - it was April. But it doesn't ever stop kids does it.
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A beautiful little girl turned 7 while we were there. Took the kids and 2 friends to Adventure world.

There was car racing, rides, waterslides and a zoo. Lovely day.

Not all lovely though - someone had been tall enough in the morning, but not tall enough in the afternoon to go on a certain ride. It was distressing - "How did I get shorter after lunch...it's just not possible".

Yes, Happy to be home. Great holiday - our first Easter with J for over 3 years.

Amazing Weeks

We have just finished a very successful Grandparents visit.....our very first visitors to our new world and we have all had an incredible time

His parents came from Brisbane and despite health issues, they were able to have a fantastic time and be a part of our life here in Jakarta.

They arrived on a FRIDAY night - now I've highlighted that because everyone who knows Jakarta knows that Friday night is THE worst night of traffic. The kids went straight from a swimming mini meet at school to the airport. Our staff were totally organised though - had roast chicken dinner prepared for the trip so that they would still get food at the right time (and have enough energy for football the next morning). After the olds got through the Visa, Immigration, Luggage and Customs treadmill, they were out at 7:30 and treated to the biggest hugs and kisses that the airport may have ever witnessed. It only took us 2 hours to get home in bumper to bumper traffic, but although it was midnight where they had come from, they were wide eyed and buzzed by the "fascinating" car trip home.

Sat morning they were superstars - leaving home at 7 for the first football match of the weekend. We were home by 10 and then stayed in for the rest of Saturday (see we are compassionate at times). On sunday morning we were out by 6 to take part in a 5km run and a 2.5km fun run (which we didn't make them participate in). After that we went and watch Bear's team in a crucial football match (which they thankfully won).

Took them to some big malls that afternoon (had to drop something off in town so took the opportunity). Plus - they wanted to go to our local computer/electric train store. The shopping bug was warming up.

Monday they recovered while we went to work/school. On Tuesday it was a public holiday, so we took them to Taman Mini. Very interesting, very nicely done, but a few too many steps for someone with artificial hips.

On Wednesday I took them to school to show them the wonders of a totally resourced school. Impressed would be an understatement. Plus, after showing the kids report cards, they know that our kids are making the absolute most of all of the opportunities they have been given ("excellent" attitudes in all areas). Physically huge school but small school friendly - we love it.

Wednesday afternoon we took Bear to the final of his football league. A 4-4 draw after being 2 down twice. Fantastic effort - really exciting game. The next day he went to his first ever school camp - very cute - especially as he insisted I stayed until I could give him a kiss while he was on the bus (guessing it was just in case he changed his mind about going). He was fired up to go.

On friday night we had J's 40th birthday party with lots of our Jakarta friends. It was lovely to have a party for J and he was very happy to have his Mum there with him. I was lucky to have been clever enough to alternate between champagne and mineral water. Tiredness only hit me when we were up at 6am to head to school for 2 games of football at 8am (and since I am the coach of one team that means I need to yell loudly - so the less my head hurts the better). After the games, we had a swimming carnival until 1 with C girl, followed by another football match at 2:30. They needed to win to come third in the league, unfortunately they were coming a draw until the last 5 minutes, when the other team got 2 more goals. They were temporarily crushed.

That night we went to a quiz night at our favorite expat club. We always have a great night there as it is very friendly, plus we got the pleasure of taking the Olds and a couple who have been our friends for years but have never been there. We came third - not bad out of 12 teams (and missed first spot by only 3 points (we got 137). On Sunday we did not leave the house, the first treat was a massage, which the Olds don't remember ever having in the last 30 years and then the kids made an upmarket resturant in the dining room and served us homemade pizza for lunch (made the previous day by our cook). Does life get any better than this??

Mon we let the olds recover while we were at work/school, they explored the neighbourhood and took photos of the many interesting things within walking distance of home. On Tuesday I took J's Mum to have a pampering morning/lunch (A special fundraising event for the expat club we are in). She had her first manicure in 20 years and had a face massage and pedicure (with champagne and strawberries of course). She met another expat Mum (Grandma) at lunch and they then planned a Museum tour the next day. Making friends in this environment is easy.

On Tuesday night I went to another 40th birthday party - girls only. It was themed "naughty uniforms" and everyone came in something short or skimpy. I went as a footballer as I had that uniform already (thanks to C girl). Plus - very not girly, which suits me. After initial drinks at her house, they had "metro Mini's" as the "luxury transport" - which are very dodgy, no airconditioning, dirty, buses, with doors that don't shut - but hilarious as only 1 person on the 2 buses had ever been on one before. After starting at her house, we went onto 4 places (although I only survived 2). All very fun and although it sounds dreadfully silly, it was actually a really clever idea as expat women in this country spend very little time feeling good about themselves (as the ladies here seem so much more exotic than us). Was planning on leaving at 9, but let's just say - I failed big time.....but the kids did not miss their bus in the morning.

On Wed the olds went to the National Museum and then factory outlet shopping (I had taken them the previous week and they wanted to go back again for some more bargains) - the bug had well and truly hit them. Gucci shoes, Burberry shirts, the list goes on and on....

On Thu we took the two little ones (C girl had a project to finish) and went to Taman Safari. Again - we have never been. What a fantastic surprise it turned out to be. You drive around in your car, feeding zebras, lamas and deer. The buffulo, monkeys, lions and tigers are also wandering on and off the road (different areas, but we didn't open our windows in these areas), plus there are elephants, giraffe, hippos, pumas, bears, rhinos etc - all in the most beautiful rainforest on the side of a mountain. It was breathtaking (I will put up photos when I have the chance). I wouldn't go on the weekend (when it's bumper to bumper) - but mid week - I will be taking all of our visitors there from now on (because the drought is broken and they are all going to be visiting now - right?). Munch sat on my knee, Bear sat between his Grandparents, feeding the animals with carrots. Our driver looked liked he had never had more fun in his life.

On friday we had a quite day, they only left the house to look at lights and they bought a beautiful red / clear star light as a gift for us in memory of their visit.

On Sat we had only 1 football match in the morning at 8, followed by a 2 hour football clinic with PJ ?. An Australian professional footballer who works for ESPN in Singapore. The kids and I spent 2 hours with him, I don't think I've laughed that hard on a football pitch before (it was fun - I wasn't laughing from sarcasm). Really great clinic. Took the Olds to another factory outlet on the way home (told you they had the bug). Recovery time - 1 hour, before heading out to Cibubur for J to play AFL against Singapore (hows that for confusing football talk, soccer and Aussie rules in one day).

Unfortunately - he landed badly in the first quarter. Hurt his wrist. Came off, got it strapped, went back on, played the rest of the game. Got home at 7, the Olds and the kids were near exhaustion at this time. They stayed home, we went to a massive 60th birthday party/coaches party. It was huge. Sit down meal, live band, great entertainment (magician), very touching speeches, hosted by the most lovely family (5 sons from all over the world) and home at 3 - not the last to leave. Starting to believe that 60 is not so old after all.

More massages followed the next morning, a quick trip to another factory outlet for last minute purchases while J went to SOS and discovered he had broken his wrist in 2 places (and had not taken anything for it other than alcohol). Another resturant meal at home (the kids made it this time), followed by drinks at our neighbours for the last 4 hours of the Old's visit to Jakarta. A lovely afternoon was had as they chatted (many things in common with J's Dad as they are from the same part of the UK) and the kids played together brilliantly (as they always do with their neighbours (we are so lucky in this respect).

A final tearful farewell on the front lawn and we saw them off (they didn't want us to have a 3 hour turnaround to the airport - yes, we are grateful and no - we did not argue with them).

I thinking it will take them a few weeks to recover from their visit. But they are great sports - they took every opportunity to see the kids and us.

We are off to Perth this week for Asian Allstars Swimming competition this weekend. We will have family and friends there at the same time .......People to see, places to go............. life is anything but dull.

Jakarta really does rock

(Please note, the last 2 weeks don't accurately portray life here - it's big even for us).

Football and Visitors

Our guest of honour have been with us for just over a week now and have just changed their flight so they can stay with us for an extra weekend. Their beloved son is away all week, so it makes sense to stay until after the weekend (no - that wasn't sarcasm - it's nice to see that the love you have for your kids doesn't go away at a certain age).

Kids and Grandparents are very happy. There have been lots of gymnastic shows and dancing acts after dinner. Grandma is very happy to not have to cook or clean and be able to just relax (not sure she has ever had the opportunity to do that before - given they had 6 kids) and they have been dragged to school, swimming carnivals, quiz nights, Taman Mini and shopping malls.

We had a 40th birthday party on Friday night for J and I know that they were thrilled to be there and were very happy to meet our friends. They worked the room and didn't go to bed until 1am - given that they are not very well, that was a huge effort on their behalf - especially when they were getting up and leaving home at 7am for yet another football match (we didn't make them, but they hadn't seen Munch play - so they wanted to).

Although we haven't left Jakarta yet for a look see with our special guests, they have been to 5 football matches - including the final for Bear's team. It was a draw (4-4), which - given that the last time they had met they were a draw and both teams were undefeated - they let it stand and both teams win the league. Which is a pretty great outcome - especially as it is school vs school and U8. Both teams will play each other in the final for the Greenfields (knockout league) in April - that will be interesting as their has to be only one winner.

I will be taking my MIL tomorrow for a pampering day - if you know me you will know that this isnt' actually something I do - I hate manicure/pedicure/cream bath stuff - sitting there and having people touch you and you have to sit still - yuk. But it's a fundraiser, is with a bunch of other ladies and includes lunch at a great Italian resturant - plus - given her delight yesterday after having a massage, I think she is going to LOVE it.

A visit to the Museum later in the week and they will finally be going out of town on Fri/Sat to see Bogor Botanical gardens and watch J play football in a lovely leafy, park (where the kids will ride bikes and run amok as all kids should).

It has been so great to finally get to show them what we have been talking about all these years (and now at least they know we aren't mad for loving it here).

Visitors

There is light at the end of the tunnel.......

We are in shock.....

........after 3 years and 4 months........

We are going to have visiors........the beds have been made.....the room looks like a hotel (and includes fire evacuations, evacuations, earthquake drills, breakfast menus etc)......

Someone is about to turn 40. He's having a party and of all the people he wanted at his party.....

Grandma and Grandpa are it (your right side - that's Nan on the left (deceased)).

We don't mind our own space......

But we are ready for visitors.....we will make them feel welcome.

Because our little family would love to show their extended family that they really are okay over here in this "scary" (not so much) place.

Have a little Faith

I just finished this book - it is fantastic.

It isn't written for the Jewish faith and it isn't written for the Christian faith. It is just the true story of a guy who was asked to write the eulogy for another man, then decided to find out more about him- the guy he was finding out about just happened to be his Rabbi.

What it definitely isn't is "shoving religion down anyone's throat".

When I was a child I lived in an intensely religious family - you know - God is the guy at the end the table, the third person in any conversation. So I generallly run a mile from anything with a religious theme - but this book - it's not like that - he isn't trying to convert anyone.

It's a 4 hour book - not much of an investment in time. But it will stay with you for a lot longer - and what you remember is the life lessons.

Conundrum

Not sure if this is a conundrum the world over or is specific to a place like Jakarta where families in far flung villages are being supported by working children in big cities.

We have 4 staff that we spend an awful lot of time with. They all speak varying degrees of english, and we get by with zero bahasa, so the varying degrees range from moderate to excellent (not complaining about this, but if they didn't know english we would have been forced to learn more bahasa - we have been spoilt in the true sense of the word).

Now for the most part, I really like my staff. Two of them I like 99.99% of the time, two are similar ages to me and we have about 1 week a month where there is a bit of tension, but it resolves itself and we go on for another 3 weeks of getting along fine (headstrong x 3 does not always work). Either way - we are lucky to have them and that's why after 3 years we have no intention of living here without them - they do their job well. Life with staff is much easier than life without them.

That said, we do enjoy staff free time as it feels different (like we are on our best behaviour when there is someone who is not family with us) - we enjoy breakfast, dinner time and Sundays when we are Staff free. We still appreciate that everything has been done and we can go to school/work on monday with the house looking like chaos and know that it will be pristine by the time we get home. We also love the very occasional car trip where it's just our family, but that doesn't mean that we don't appreciate having a driver - who weaves through traffic, tries shortcuts (I ride shotgun with a map) and avoids motorbikes and gets the family around safely. We also enjoy our holidays that are also - just us, as we will never, ever take anyone with us - they don't want to spend a night away from their family, we aren't going to ask them to.

Anyway - back to my Conundrum. My Nanny is a 23 year old married mother with a two year old. She works very hard 6 days a week and I would not hesitate to name her "worker of the week," every week (and she does so without complaint).

On Saturday she asked for a loan for what is essentially one months salary so that she can buy a handphone for her 14 year old brother. He is in 9th grade and isn't going to school or sleeping at home. He has told her that he will not go to school until he a) gets a motorbike or b) a cool handphone. The culture of Indonesia is such that she sends a lot of money home to her family to look after them (they live in her village 100's of km from Jakarta and there is no old age pension, so adult kids help parents). Her brother refuses to go to school until he recieves this phone - he has missed one month so far.

So - what do I do? The issue isn't the money itself, it's that she works so hard for her money, and this 14 year old is blackmailing her with his own future. I was open mouthed in shock when she told me. She has told him that what he is asking is unfair, she has told him that he is being selfish. But he will not go to school (or sleep at home) until this phone is delivered to him. His own future..... not as important as a hand phone. He has two parents - but she is the one wanting him to complete high school.

I have told her she could have the loan (I don't want him not going to school again to be my fault). But I have asked her to tell him - if he misses one day of school - phone gone for a week. If he misses school for a week - phone gone forever....... but I seriously doubt this will implemented.

Can you think of a smarter, more useful solution? I feel terrible that she is being forced to spend a whole months salary on this. A signed contract saying that he will go to school and if he misses one week she gets the phone back, sounds like a solution, but isn't going to be monitored, so won't work - I am absolutely not buying a handphone for her little brother - I just do not want to open myself to buying it myself- the staff have 7 children and who knows how many sisters/brothers. Yes, I want to help the children of Indonesia - but this isn't what I was meaning.

Please - creative solutions are welcome, but they can't be complicated. Fire away